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Coming Out Debbie Event LGBTQ Organization Our Center Place Transgender

TINN – Trans in Northern Nevada

Left to right: Erica, Francesca, Valerie. Credit: Erica Pionke.

I was at Our Center last weekend to participate in their program “Women Who Brunch.” On the website, it is billed as a “monthly event [that] mixes great food and conversation to encourage the growth of community in a friendly nonstructured environment.  Le[d] by our own volunteer[,] Debbie Dyke.”

Yup, that’s our Debbie.

Credit: Erica Pionke, 2018.

At the same time, Trans in Northern Nevada, or TINN, was holding a board game event.

TINN was wrapping up, but Valerie and Francesca spent some time with me so I could learn more about their organization. Apparently, Valerie had spoken during the meeting and talked about her intersex status.

Francesca is the co-founder and president of TINN. She said that they wanted an opportunity where transgender folks could get out and meet each other and learn from each other. TINN started in 2011 after a prior group, which was centered around the bars, fell apart.

Francesca said that she transitioned in 2011, legally changed her name in 2013 and underwent surgery in 2015. She said she dressed in female clothing when she was a child. She wanted to play with dolls and play foursquare with the girls, but she would find herself in trouble with the adults. She learned she was different in 1970 from watching a movie, but continued to live in her assigned gender until 2011 when she started transitioning. She even married a woman in 1975, and started cross-dressing again in 1985.

She said they hold these TINN meetings to hear people’s stories.  She said that having these talks makes you feel good.  Sometimes the meetings have 6 people and sometimes 30.  They also do movie nights, hiking, bowling, and are always looking to plan other events, too. Francesca loves karate and will take anyone to learn karate for many reasons, including self-defense.

The best way to find TINN is through a group on Facebook and programming events at Our Center. You have to fill out a questionnaire to get on the Facebook group. Just make sure you’re not looking for a relationship–that’s not what this group is about. As of today, they have 246 members. They also put out a paper resource guide that you can pick up at Our Center.

She is very proud of helping people. Data indicate that 82% of transgender individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide. Only one person in their group has killed themselves.

When I asked Francesca what she wants people knew about TINN, she said she wished people knew that TINN is a safe group.  They accept everyone for who they are.  If the folks in TINN can help, they want to help you transition.  Having friends in a supportive trans group is the best thing you can do to not be alone.

Categories
History LGBTQ Non-binary Organization Our Center Political Transgender UNR

UNR Queer Grad Collective

The Queer Grad Collective (QGC) is an officially-sanctioned Graduate Student Association (GSA) University of Reno (UNR) social club.  I met via Zoom this week with M (she/her/they/them) to learn more about them and the club’s origins.

M is a grad student pursuing a Masters in Fine Arts in creative writing, particularly in the genre of science fiction.  They hail from the fine state of Washington. Two years ago, M met Cas (she/her/he/him/they/them) on Lex, a text-centered social app that connects queer lovers and friends (I had to look that one up).  Cas, a Ph.D. candidate in the Environmental Science realm, had posted that there were no queer resources for graduate students at UNR. M and Cas met virtually and quickly came up with a constitution, found a network of students and faculty to support the group, and brought the school on board to found the QGC.

QGC’s mission is to make and create a safe community for queer graduates and people throughout the campus.  They have long-term plans to engage in activism, but for now, they are a social organization.

The group meets currently every other Friday from 11-noon.  They started two years ago in a virtual environment, then moved to in-person, then back on-line.  M said that they generally have about ten to fifteen people attend each meeting.

Right now, they are planning an end-of-semester afternoon picnic bash at Rancho San Rafael Regional Park in Reno sometime in the first two weeks of May. 

M said to join the mailing list or log into Discord (I haven’t figured either of these things out yet) to get the details on the event.

Being a social group, their primary objective is connecting people on campus. They have an Instagram @qgc_unr. And they maintain this elusive listserve that I have yet to find.

M said that their marketing strategy thus far has been

  • Put up flyers at UNR campus bulletin boards
  • Use the QLAB listserve
  • Bulk emails to UNR department
  • Maintain an Instagram presence
  • Set up tables at the GSA club fair and other events
  • Partner with other student organizations, both graduate and undergraduate

They have plans to connect with Our Center in the near future.

When I asked M what they are particularly proud of being involved with at QGC, they said that they are just proud that QGC still exists.  M said that it has been tough in the last two years under COVID-19 restrictions to meet people in a town new to them and get to know each other virtually.

Nonetheless, QGC has partnered with the Associated Students of the University of Nevada (ASUN), the student government of UNR, to host a Q&A for students. They’ve hosted a joint holiday party. They’ve partnered with the undergraduate Queer Student Union (QSU) on a gender-affirming closet exchange and plan to host a mentorship program with them next year. They’ve also partnered with QLAB; the local chapter of Out in Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics (oSTEM); and UNR Pride.

When I asked about plans for the future, M said they had no hard plans right now because of the lingering uncertainty of COVID.  M did tell me about their undergraduate queer center in Washington, which had its own dedicated space, held book clubs, support groups, and bitch and stitches. Though M didn’t specifically say that was the goal, we did discuss how it would be great to have a place where all the LGBTQ organizations could meet and hold space.

Like me, M is excited to attend their first Pride in Nevada and see how the Biggest Little City does it.  When I asked what is one of M’s favorite queer spaces or events in Reno, they told me the Holland Project. I had never heard about it before; M says it’s an all-ages venue with a really cool art space and art classes.  M looks forward to going to a show there soon.

When I asked M what they want people to know about QGC, they said they want people to know that QGC is working to foster the first explicit community on the UNR campus for queer graduate students.  QGC is achieving this through community building activities and hopes to continue in the future with social activism and engagement.

Interview with M Sawan, Co-Founder
M Sawan, Interviewee. Credit: LinkedIn
Categories
Health History LGBTQ Non-binary Organization Political Transgender

Transgender Allies Group

Credit: TAG website

The Transgender Allies Group (TAG) is an advocacy group for transgender people in Nevada. They go to the Nevada state legislature and lobby to have bills passed and sometimes terminated.

TAG has been around since 2010. A bathroom bill brought TAG into existence. At the time, Nevada was considered one of the lowest states for LGBTQ welcomeness. As a result of massive legislation in this state over the years, Nevada, in 2020, was ranked number ONE by USA Today as the most LGBTQ-friendly state in the nation. The rankings looked at legislation, number of hate crimes, and LGBTQ population per state.

Some TAG wins here in our good ‘ole Nevada:

  • One of the easiest states to get ones birth certificate changed
  • It is very easy to change ones’ gender marker
  • No longer have to publish your name in the newspaper when you do a name change
  • No longer have to prove to the DMV that a 3rd party verifies who you are
  • One of the few states that has an X gender on drivers’ licenses

When I spoke with Sherrie Scaffidi, the president of TAG (see here and here for more on Sherrie) she said one of the reasons they have been so successful is that TAG has good rapport with the Nevada State Senators.  Nevada has four open LGBTQ legislators. Sherrie said it has been easy to get them on board with getting various bills sponsored, supported, or killed.

The TAG board is currently comprised of two transgender women, two transgender men, and one cis gay man.  These folks are the president, secretary, treasurer, and two directors.

The meetings are held via Zoom on the fourth Thursday of every month in conjunction with Northern Nevada’s Carson City chapter of PFLAG, for which Sherrie is also the president. For anyone who is not familiar with PFLAG, they are the first and largest organization for LGBTQ people, their parents and families, and allies.

TAG has about 12 active members, but Sherrie knows that they touch the lives of many, many more in Nevada. It’s unknown exactly how many people, though, because TAG does not maintain a listserve in order to preserve anonymity of those seeking assistance.  TAG often deals with people who are not ready to come out.  Sherrie estimates they affect 50 to 100 people personally and one-on-one per year in helping with transitioning legal tasks like name changes.  

When a bill gets passed specific to the transgender community, TAG doesn’t know how exactly many people they are going to touch. Nevada is estimated to have approximately 12,600 transgender people in 2022.

They have a great name-change roadmap and forms on their website and a ton of resources, but the website is definitely out of date, so I know some of it is not useful any more.

They need to update their woefully out-of-date website and develop a business presence on LinkedIn. They do have a twitter @TAGNevada which is very active, and I applaud that.

TAG needs to work on their marketing and outreach. Because they don’t collect listserves, they don’t have much of an outreach strategy. Mostly, it’s just Sherrie putting her personal contact information out everywhere she can. They get some contacts through PFLAG.

Although not a social group, TAG hosts a Transgender Day of Remembrance vigil at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Church in Reno every November.

TAG’s most current issue is advocating for the LGBTQ community in the Nevada prison system.  Transgender inmates are being put in the wrong gender population.  A transgender woman’s legal documents may confirm that she is female, but because she has male genitalia, she is often placed with the men’s population.  These inmates are often denied their hormones.  TAG is bringing new legislation in the latest session to address these injustices.

Sherrie wants you to know that TAG can help with anything having to do with gender transitioning.  And if you show them something they have never seen before and don’t have an answer to, they want to help you figure it out.

Sherrie helped me in 2021 to develop a powerpoint presentation for my organization on terminology and etiquette related to transitioning and transgender employees.

Follow them on twitter. Follow me on twitter.

Credit: TAG Website. Signing of Senate Bill 201, protecting LGBTQ youth from dangerous “conversion therapy.” From left to right: Eliza Cafferata (Nevada Advocates for Planned Parenthood), Sherrie Scaffidi (TAG), Tick Segerblom (Senator), Governor Brian Sandoval, Holly Welborn (ACLU-NV), Tyrone Thompson (Assemblyman), David Parks (Senator, Sponsor), Brooke Maylath (TAG), Stacey Shinn (PLAN), Brad Combs (Intern), Ashley Clift-Jennings (TAG).
Categories
Health LGBTQ Organization Personal History Political Transgender UNR

I Needed to Highlight Sherrie Scaffidi for Two Days

This is the second installment of my interview with Ms. Sherrie Scafidi, the president of the Transgender Allies Group, or TAG. TAG is mostly a lobbying organization for transgender rights, but they provide extensive resources for those who are seeking legal gender identity changes, including a flow chart on how to do it.

Please go back and read the short article from yesterday to learn about her story coming out as a transgender woman.

She also helps those not in the community by educating, speaking, and acting as a “standardized patient,” which is someone who plays the part of the patient at a medical school and guides the med student or nurse practitioner in the proper language and treatment of a transgender person. There is a great article from my very own UNR where Sherrie is quoted and photographed.

Credit: Nevada Today, UNR publication

What are some of the things that you have done with TAG that you are particularly proud of?

2 biggest

  1. A transgender person no longer has to publish their name change in the newspaper. When she changed her name in January 2017, it had to be listed in the newspaper. The law which changed that was passed in the 2017 legislative session one month later, in February.
  2. A transgender person no longer has to prove by a third party to the DMV that they are who they say they are. She said that when she changed her driver’s license, she had to get a third-party doctor to verify who she was. Now, Nevada is one of the few states that has an X gender and no verification now needed.

Sherrie also works full-time currently and is the president of PFLAG, the first and largest organization for LGBTQ+ people, their parents and families, and allies. She also has her own consulting business where she gets paid to educate and speak. She works with local security firms to educate their guards on the laws surrounding gender and bathroom use in Nevada.

In what little free time I can’t imagine she has much of, she loves to cook. She said that she spends all her money on shoes, cooking stuff, and model railroading. She also still has all the equipment from when she had worked as a gunsmith.

Sherrie identifies as a lesbian.  She laments that the local lesbian community is not as welcoming to her as a transgender woman as she wishes they were. As a member of that community, I was saddened by that statement but I also recognize that, though a generalization, my experience is similar. I believe it may be due to a lack of understanding (and maybe even empathy?).

Sherrie wants people to know that if they are transgender, they can help out the community by being open and visible if they are brave enough.  She would love to start back up her half-hour radio show about LGBTQ individuals that was cut short by COVID-19. She sees the value in growing a national audience for something like that.

Please check out the TAG website and read more about Sherrie’s work with the UNR med school.

2017 signing of Nevada Senate Bill 201 protecting LGBTQ youth from “conversion therapy”. Sherrie is second to left. Credit: http://www.transgenderalliesgroup.org/
Categories
Coming Out Story LGBTQ Organization Political Transgender

Sherrie Scaffidi, President of the Transgender Allies Group (TAG)

When I logged into Zoom yesterday, I was faced with a woman with perfectly coiffed hair, nails with no chips in them and all done up in makeup. I was wearing pants and a bra and I felt like I was winning.

This was the second time I had the opportunity to talk to Ms. Sherrie Scaffidi, the president of the Transgender Allies Group, or TAG. TAG is mostly a lobbying organization for transgender rights, but they provide extensive resources for those who are seeking legal gender identity changes, including a flow chart on how to do it.

She’s not only a customer, but she’s one of their biggest clients. Not really—that’s just a goofy old saying from a commercial in the 80’s.

But she has had to walk through many of the scary legal transitioning experiences and now helps transgender Nevadans gain easier access. She said that she tried to sell her house in Fernley after transitioning, which was the impetus for developing a form to help others to sell their houses after their names are legally changed.

As someone who was assigned male at birth, she play-acted her life as a man for decades, through a 43-year marriage that ended when her wife passed away in 2012 from cancer. She still keeps close with her three kids who are all adults themselves now. She said her kids still call her Dad and Pop.

Sherrie explained that her sister asked her how she learned to walk after transitioning with such a feminine sway, Sherrie explained that she actually had to learn how to walk like a man throughout her life. She said she’s felt different since she was 8 years old.

Sherrie is also a military Veteran and an advocate for LGBTQ Veterans in Nevada. She’s worked with the local VA, and she estimates that there are 2,000 transgender Vets living in Nevada today.

In 2013, when she started transitioning, she had a lot of fear about coming out as a woman. Now, she hands out her personal information to anyone who will take it so that she can make connections and help others in the transgender community.

Please check back in tomorrow, where I will talk some more about Sherrie and her great work in Northern Nevada.

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Beauty Debbie Hair LGBTQ Place

Non-Bin-HAIR-y: Lana Taylor Hair

Credit: Erica Pionke

93% of the LGBTQ+ community has been misgendered during an appointment at a salon or barbershop. 65% feel that their hair is an important part of how they choose to express themselves (www.dresscodeproject.com accessed March 5, 2022). This is why my nonbinary friend, Cas, gushed to me about Lana Taylor Hair on pinterest as a queer-friendly hair stylist who specializes in non-binary cuts (and vintage roller styles).

Well, Debbie’s hair has been getting long around the ears and didn’t know where she was going to go if not all the way down to Las Vegas, to her favorite barber. Debbie agreed to make an appointment online with Lana.

Her appointment website shows the following services, along with perms, colors, conditioning, treatments, and styling:

Genderless Haircuts –

– Long Haircut

$50 and up for 90 minutes

Haircuts have no gender! This is the price for a haircut that requires shears and a blow dry and style

– Short Cut

$30 and up for 75 minutes

Haircuts have no gender! This service is for any short haircuts that require clippers. There is no blow out or style.

****

Setting the appointment was very easy. We had to add a debit card to the account for $1 to reserve the appointment. But when the appointment was over, Lana was able to charge to the card to save time as we were running to an evening meeting.

Her salon space sits among other salons, but she has a fully contained space and chair. Her approximate 200 square foot space contains a door, a glass wall, a wall with sink and mirror and then a fourth wall, making it a completely private space that does not seems as small as it actually is. She also carries products for sale in her little space.

The importance of the privacy of the space is because her clients are 30% transgender and even more who prefer cuts outside their assigned gender. The privacy allows her clients to be able to discuss their needs openly with her, like a transgender female with a receded hairline or a transgender male who is learning he has the receding hairline gene.

She took a solid hour or so to cut Debbie’s hair, and it looked adorable/handsome when Lana was done. Here are some pictures to show the final product. Be sure to check out her portfolio on pinterest.

Categories
Coming Out LGBTQ Political Transgender

Lt. Governor Candidate Familiar with Transition

Please meet Ms. Kimi Cole, running for Lieutenant Governor of Nevada. If you read her “About” page on her website, you will read about their childhood in rural Nevada racing motorcycles and developing a relationship with the land and environment and then becoming a construction project manager where they learned, absorbed and lived the importance of housing in Nevada.

Picture of Kimi Cole in front of sagebrush background
from http://www.KimiCole.com

While discussing her history on that page, she cryptically mentions her transition. But take note: her gender pronouns change after this nod to transition.

While interviewing her on February 19, she explained that she transitioned into her female identity in 2009 at 55 years old. As she started living her best life, she was an innovator in the transition culture, since information on gender identity and gender dysphoria were very limited back then.

She talked about how the greatest obstacle to moving forward is to not feel misplaced in the world and to be able to accept ourselves.  She said that it’s easy to feel alone when it seems like the world is staring at you.  But it’s important to acknowledge that it’s not just your transition; everybody else is transitioning, too.  She talks about this in her 2016 TEDx talk, Walking in Another’s Shoes.

When I asked about any issues she intends to breach on LGBTQ+ issues, she said that Nevada has legislation that is favorable to the LGBTQ+ community. She talked about issues she’s advocated for or fought before, like the 2015 transgender bathroom bill.

I’ve heard it said that Nevada is the most favorable state to those in the transgender community. But she said that this is most true in the more urban centers, like Las Vegas, Reno, Sparks, and Carson City. She said that there are estimated as many as 12,600 who identify on the LGBTQ+ spectrum in rural Nevada, and it is still more difficult for the youth in the more rural areas.

As a lifelong resident, she believes she is an advocate for all in Nevada, but she also feels like if she can change a mind and save a kid’s life, she will take the time to invest.

Her website provides her current status as Chair of the Rural Democratic Caucus and her main political foci, which are the economy, infrastructure, the climate crisis, and affordable housing. The primary is June 14th and the general election is November 8th. Take a look at Kimi’s website, educate yourself on the other candidates, and BE SURE TO GET OUT THERE AND VOTE.

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LGBTQ Non-binary Our Center Place Transgender

Our Center – The Leader of the Pack: Stacey Spain

Stacey Spain is the new fearless leader at Our Center in Reno. She has brought life to the Our Center Facebook page, requiring her volunteers to post twice per day to keep patrons of Our Center always thinking about the programs that will bring them in to Our Center and then back, again and again.

She was hired in December of 2021 as the very first paid employee of the organization, but brings with her an extensive background in public service, including grant writing and work in arts programming. She is currently working 30 hours per week at Our Center.

When I visited her last week, she had just finished another meeting with a community organization who was interested in using the space. Stacey said that she fully believes that community spaces are meant to be used and not to sit vacant and empty in between meetings. She is working on bringing in various organizations beyond the LGBTQ panorama, including Girls Scouts, a Women of Color book club, the Northern Nevada Democratic Socialists of America, and 12-step recovery groups.

Of course, the standard events that fall under the Pride flag are still present at Our Center, like PFLAG, transgender youth support groups, and senior programs. Stacey said that the programming focus right now is the senior, youth and transgender demographics. But from the discussion that I had with her, I could tell that she also had an affinity for family events.

She lit up when she talked about the services that Our Center provides to those in need like a small food pantry and sleeping bags. She talked excitedly about health programs she would like to see promoted at Our Center, like HIV testing. She would also like to start a scholarship program for queer kids. She was quite proud of the cozy lending LGBTQ library that takes up a nook in the office space.

Stacey explained to me that she answer to the Our Center Board of Directors which is currently 5 members and meets monthly. She also said that there are several Our Center committees that do a lot of work, which include programming, fundraising (including the Northern Nevada Pride Celebration that happens each year in Wingfield Park on the fourth weekend of July) and governance.

She told me of a story of a mother who had come in to the office with her child after her child had told her that they wanted to transition to female. The mother was visibly scared, confused, and heavy-hearted. Stacey was able to take the mother into a private room and discuss services and support for the mother, while a transgendered woman who had been serendipitously volunteering in the office that day was able to spend some time in the office talking to the child. Stacey said it was the perfect situation.

Several weeks later, Stacey saw the two together at an Our Center group function and they all looked much more adjusted and lighter.

She ran into the child in the office just recently with a big bow in her hair and a beautiful smile on her face. Stacey said it warmed her heart.

When I asked Stacey what her favorite program was at Our Center, she told me that it was probably the “We Are Family Movie and Game Night.” She loves when the LGBTQ parents get together and their children can see that they are not the only ones with LGBTQ parents. She told me that she, too, has a family which has been involved in the family events at Our Center.

If you have questions, please contact Ms. Stacey at the office. Her email is stacey@ourcenterreno.org.

Categories
Event LGBTQ Non-binary Our Center Place Transgender

Our Center LGBTQ(+!) Community-Based Programs

We are going to keep talking about Our Center, because there is so much that it does and provides for the LGBTQ community. They post daily on their Facebook page about all the programs and events they run 5 to 6 days a week.

Our Center has been in existence as an organization since 2009. Before they had a brick and mortar location, they were hosting programs for the LGBTQ community. Programs create the fellowship that make up the heart of the Our Center community.

Our Center’s primary focus for programming are youth, senior and transgender folks. After talking to Stacey Spain, the first and only person on the Our Center payroll and just hired in December 2021, I picked up that she also has a desire to really engage LGBTQ families in Northern Nevada.

Stacey also told me of her many plans to start health-based programs like HIV testing and clincs. She wants to bring some programs out into the community, like attending plays on the town. She wants to make sure to have programs that involve all groups, including Black, Indigenous, and People of Color (BIPOC).

Our Center provides services and resources to homeless youth and others in need. They have a small food pantry and sleeping bags if needed. They also refer those in need to other social services in Northern Nevada.

Stacey handed me the list of events that are happening in March 2022. Strap in, because you are about to get the full-month social calendar.

First Tuesday of every month (March 1) 6-8pm – We Are Family Movie and Game Night for parents who are LGBTQ and their children

First Wednesday of every month (March 2) 6pm – Our Center Board Meeting (open to all)

Weekly on Wednesdays (March 2 and thereafter) —

  • 2-3pm – Senior coffee time
  • 2-4pm – Social services assistance
  • 6:30-7:30 – Alcoholics Anonymous meeting

First Thursday of every month (March 3) 6-7:30pm – Silver Dollar Court

Weekly on Thursdays (March 3 and thereafter) —

  • 5-6pm – Transgender Youth Support Group (call 775-600-4467 @Hillary or Sam for approval before attending)
  • 6-7:30 – Girl Scout Troop 258 – ages 5-18 (contact enterpeace72@yahoo.com to join group)

First Friday of every month (March 4) 7-9pm – Queer Karaoke

Weekly on Fridays (March 4 and thereafter) —

  • 2-4pm – Social services assistance
  • 7-8pm – Narcotics Anonymous meeting

Weekly on Saturdays (March 5 and thereafter) 10:15am-12:30pm – Womens’ Al-Anon

Sundays – Closed

Mondays – Our Center only open by appointment

Second Tuesday of every month (March 8) 6-7pm – Asexual support and fellowship group

Second and Fourth Tuesdays of every month (March 8 & 22) 6-7pm – Gay/Straight Alliance Consortium

Second Fridays (March 11) 3-5pm – Movie Night

Second and Fourth Saturdays of every month (March 12 & 26) 11am-1pm – Knitting Group

Third Tuesdays of every month (March 15) —

Third Wednesday of every month (March 16) 6-8pm – Northern Nevada Black Cultural Awareness Society Board Meeting

Third Thursdays of every month (March 17) 6-7:30pm – Transparenting – Parents/caregivers/supporters of transgender and gender variant youth

Friday, March 18 – Outing to Reno Little Theater to see “Bull in a China Shop”

Third Fridays of every month (March 18) —

  • 3-6pm – BINGO
  • 6-6:30 – Out and About Seniors Group

Monday, March 21, 6pm – Volunteer Meeting

Tuesday, March 22 —

  • 6-7:30pm – LGBTQ Veterans Peer Support (Nevada Department of Veterans)
  • 7-8pm – Gay Prom Planning

Fourth Thursday of every month (March 24) 6-7:30pm – PFLAG

My call to action today is to ask you to plan to attend at least one event this month to support and grow the Our Center community. Maybe I’ll see you there!