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Debbie LGBTQ Personal History

EP + DO

Pictures of Debbie and Erica. Pictures courtesy of Erica Pionke.

Before I go off running and tell you all about the Reno LGBTQ scene, I need to help you understand where I fit into the LGBTQ community. I am a cisgender female with a loving cisgender female partner named Debbie who I’d like to introduce you to today.

My last post talked about my coming out experience with my parents in the summer of 2010. This was right before I moved out to rural Wyoming (is there any other kind of Wyoming?) for 1.5 years.

While in Wyoming, a friend suggested we take a trip to Las Vegas for a youth sobriety conference. I had never been to Las Vegas, and it seemed like a good reason to go.

While at the conference, I went to a workshop for the LGBTQ community, which I had been craving desperately during my 15 months in Wyoming. This is where I met Debbie.

Debbie was on the panel of speakers. She was in her late 40s at the time, so she didn’t quite fit the young person demographic. She knew it and used this opportunity to try out her stand-up comedy routine. She had me hooked.

I grabbed her number after the workshop and asked her to meet me at the dance party that night. That was the last time I would talk to her until…

…I found out that I had obtained a job in Las Vegas. Since I knew no one else in Las Vegas, I called her. She told me that she would “show me around town.” She’s so confident.

After I arrived in Las Vegas in late May of 2012, we would meet up for coffee and she introduced me to her friends. Over time, we became good friends. She was always available to make me laugh or make me think.

We started dating after getting to know each other, and she has continued to make me laugh ever since. From Las Vegas, we moved to Arlington, Virginia, and then here to Reno in April of 2020. We’ve been together going on 10 years, through a total of five surgeries and one COVID-19 pandemic.

We are very different people. I like to run, hike, ski, and paddleboard. Debbie likes to people watch and chill in her kayak when I can get her on the water. I’m an introvert and Debbie needs people. We come from different backgrounds and even age groups. Thankfully, Debbie has this ability to connect with anyone, no matter their background or age group.

She’s constantly introducing me to her new friends, even with people whom she has just chatted up on a park bench while I was off running around. She’s kind with an authenticity and spark that make people immediately trust her. And she’s funny. Oh goodness. She can break tension in any room.

Did I mention that she’s a fantastic cook? Her street tacos are requested all over. Expect delicious enchiladas when you’re in the hospital or your family is having a difficult time.

She is the most generous person I have ever known.

I could go on and on and on about Debbie. Really. Mostly, I just want you, my reader, to know that I do not show up to this party alone.

And Debbie wants you to know that I’m taken. She also wants you to follow me on Twitter.

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Coming Out Story LGBTQ

Erica’s Coming Out Story: The Parents

Photo by Arie Wubben on Unsplash

It was the June 26th of 2010 in Chicago. I took Belmont to the Kennedy Expressway south on my way to Jackson Park in my teal Chevy Cavalier. I don’t remember the meetup spot, but I remember the girl with a Jack Russell Terrier in a carrier on the back of her motorcycle. I followed her to the Dyke March and sought her out to meet her “casually.”

She was my first girlfriend. It didn’t last very long, but long enough to officially make my way out of the closet.

I was visiting with my parents in my childhood living room. They were sitting in one corner, my mom on the end of the couch and my dad in the rocking chair next to her. I sat in the other corner, in the swivel chair by the TV. We were talking about what I was going to do about my car that had just broken down.

There was a lull in the conversation and I thought, “Well, now is as good of a time as ever to tell them.”

“I need to tell you something.” My heart was pounding. “I’m dating a woman.”

Silence.

Then my mom said, “Well maybe your brother, Ben, can fix your car. Y’know, he used to work at the gas station.”

My mother is terribly hard of hearing. She had a cochlear implant in one ear and had 15% hearing in the other. She often misses discussions and has been known to have her own conversations with people who are trying to talk to her about something else. Once my friend asked where the garbage was and she responded that there were Cokes and Sprites in the basement fridge.

“Joan, your daughter just said she is dating a woman.”

“I know,” my mom responded. “I just thought maybe Ben might be able to help. I know she’s short on funds right now.”

I didn’t expect a celebration. I didn’t expect an explosion, either — my p’s are pretty hip people. But the complete lack of non-attention to the fact that I was dating a woman was surprisingly perfect.

It’s 12 years later and I live in Reno with my partner of almost 10 years. We just moved here and are exploring the city’s LGBTQ culture slowly. I hope to share that with you. Thank you for reading. Please subscribe to hear about all my LGBTQ adventures in Reno.